Kutigirira ikizere,guhorana ubwoba,agahinda,umubabaro n’ibimenyetso nyamukuru biranga umuntu washatse nabi,iyo urugo rukomeje kuba rubi hiyongeraho gucika k’umuryango ndetse no ku nshuti ibi byose biturutse k’uwo mwashakanye mubi.
Reka turebe ibimenyetso simusiga biranga umugabo mubi,niba ubonyemo 18 muri ibi bimenyetso ngiye kukubwira  biranga umugabo wawe umenye ko atazahinduka ahubwo ari wowe ukwiye guhinduka ,byakunanira ugahunga,utararwara indwara zituruka kuri siteresi,agahinda n’umubabaro (muri izo ndwara twavugamo:diabete,hypertention,depression…)
1.Agira rukuruzi(seducteur):uyu muntu azi kukwiyegereza cyane mugitangira gukundana akujyana  mubihe byiza birimo umunezero ,mukinjira mukwezi kwa buki ukagirango ubonye umuntu wifuzaga kuva kera  ,akakubwira ibyo ushaka kumva,akakubwira ibigushimisha ,amenya kwisanisha n’imico yawe akaba ariyo yigana akamenya ibyo ushaka kumva akaba aribyo avuga ukagirango ubonye Imana y’i Rwanda kugeza igihe iyu mwambaro wo kwishushanya uzavaho akakwiyereka uko ari.
2.Agira amasura abiri( double visage):yigaragaza uko abishaka bitewe naho ari,murugo ni umuntu udatanga amahoro,   umugome,  umunyamahane ariko hanze yigaragaza nk’Imana y’ i Rwanda aba aseka yishimye umunyamahoro rwose  kuburyo niyo wamuvuga nabi badashobora kubyumva ahubwo bashobora kugufata nk’umusazi nkaho ari wowe mubi .
4.Ubugome bwe bugenda buzamuka buhoro buhoro(il passé de la violence par palier): ibibi agukorera bigenda bizamuka bikurikirana birutana atangirira kukubwira amagambo agukomeretsa ,agutesha agaciro  wamara kuyamenyera ntacyo akigutwaye agatangira  kukubwira ko usa nabi uteye nabi wambara nabi ndetse n’ibitutsi bikazamo nyuma nabyo wabimenyera noneho akagira amahane akabije kugeza aho ashobora no gutangira kurwana.iyo agukoreye ikibi ukakimenyera ukakemera azana ikibi kirengejeho kuko ntaba ashaka kukubona ufite amahoro muriwowe .
5.Agutandukanya n’abandi kugirango akwifatire(isoler et diviser pour mieux regner):akoresha uko ashoboye akaguca ku bantu ,ku nshuti,ku muryango wawe kugirango usigare uri wenyine ukomeze umukeneye igihe cyose,uko iminsi igenda yicuma niko inshuti zigenda zibashiraho ,agutandukanya n’umuntu wese wakugira inama cyangwa akaba yaguhumura amaso ko uri  mubuzima bubi
6.akunda amafaranga cyane:umugabo  akunda amafaranga cyane kuburyo agenzura umushahara w’uwo  bashakanye agakoresha uburyo amenya icyo yakoresheje ayo mafaranga ndetse n’utuntu duto duto twose akatwinjiramo.
7.Nta mpuhwe bagira;umugabo mubi nta muhwe agira ntabwo yakubona ubabaye ngo nawe bimubabaze cyangwa niwishima ngo nawe yishime ahubwo rimwe na rimwe ashobora no gushimishwa nuko ubabaye,kumuririra ntacyo bivuze kuko atajya yita kumubabaro wawe
8.Ni umubeshyi wa buri munsi wa buri kanya :arwara indwara yo kubeshya akoze mukinyoma ahantu hose ari arabeshya kugirango bamwemere ,bamukunde,abiyegereze  kuberako inyota ye niyo kugaragara neza hanze niyo kugirango bamwemere hanze,ashobora nawe kukubeshya ko ikintu atigeze agikora narimwe mubuzima kandi agikora buri munsi,ashobora no kukubeshya kugirango arebe uko umera uko witwara ,urugero ashobora kukubwira ko azaguta akava murugo mugatandukana kandi akubeshya kugirango arebe uko witwara,akenshi yihana ikinyoma agamije guhisha ukuri.Atanga amasezerano atazasohoza;ashobora kugusezeranya ko atazongera kugutuka  ariko akongera akabikora kandi vuba cyane ,ashobora kugusezeranya ko atazaguhemukira kandi akazajya abikora buri munsi,kuri we kuguha isezerano ni uburyo bwo kukuryarya no kukwica mumutwe.
9.Kugutega imitego(espionage):ahora agucunga atega imitego cyane cyane iyo abonye ko uwo babana amaze kurambirwa n’imyitwarire ye,amutega inshuti ze abaturanyi be bakamucunga kugirango bamufatire mumakosa.
10.Agutesha agaciro mubantu(vous rabaisse en poublique): ashobora kugucecekesha muri nko mu bandi akakubwira nabi mugitsure cyinshi akwereka ko ijambo ryawe ntakigenda.
11.Nta karima k’ibanga ugira(vous n’aveze pas de jardin secret):uba ugomba kumubwira abo mwavuganye, abo mwiriranywe ,uba ugomba kumubwira byose,nta mubare w’ibanga ugomba kuba muri telefone yawe mbese ntakintu kibanga ugira iyo uri kumwe nawe,acunga telefone yawe akareba abaguhamagaye ,abo wandikiye amafoto nibindi byinshi.
12.Agushyiraho amakosa ye( tu es responsible de ses comportement):akubwira ko ari wowe watumye yitwara nabi,niba yagututse, yakubabaje akubwira ko ariwowe wabiteye ,ntashobora kwemera ko ariwe wabiteye abigushyiraho  ,aba ashaka ko uhorana umutima ugucira urubanza  ,akubwira ko niba urugo rwanyu rutagenda neza ariwowe wabiteye ,agahora akubwira ko witwara nabi ,amakosa ye yose ayagushyiraho niyo ayemeye kuba ari ukujijisha, kukuryarya kugirango agere kucyo ashaka.
13.Igihe cyose uba umufitiye ubwoba(vous avez peur de ses reactions):uhora wumva hari ideni umufitiye ,wumva ufite ubwoba bwuko atekereza kumyitwarire yawe kandi ntakibi wanakoze.
14.Muhora m’umukino wa nkurikira nguhunge,mpunga ngukurikire,nkunda nkwange,nyanga ngukunde(fan du’’ fuis moi je te suis’’ suis moi je te fuis;’ ): umukeneye araguhunga, waba utamukeneye akaza,iyo umweretse ko ushaka ko akuba habi ,akwereke urukundo araguhunga akakwitaza ntabikore akakwereka ko ahuze ariko iyo nawe umweretse ko utamukeneye ko umurambiwe ko ushaka kuba wenyine niho atangira kukwereka urukundo  no kukwiyegereza cyane.
15.Kugushuka ko agukunda(chantage affectiff): akubeshya ko agukunda ko ashobora no kwiyahura atagufite ,ashobora no kuvuga ko ariwe mugabo ugukunda wenyine  ku isi ko udashobora kubona undi ugukunda nkawe  ,agamije kugirango ibyemezo wari wafashe byo gutandukana nawe ubireke .
16.Ni wowe nawe gusa abandi ntabariho(relation tres fusionnelle ): ninkaho yagufashe mukajya kwibera mu mwobo mwenyine wowe nawe akagukoresha ibyo ashaka mwenyine ;ibyo nibyo byifuzo bye.
17.Ntushobora kwishima cyangwa kunezerwa muri kumwe: kugirango umushimishe wowe uba ugomba kwiyaka umunezero wawe ,kuko iyo wishimye we arababara bigatuma wishinja ibyaha.uba wumva hagize nk’igitangaza kiba uwo muntu akava mu buzima bwawe byaba ari nk’igitangaza kibaye ,wakumva uruhutse,wakumva hari ibyakuremereraga byinshi bikuvuyeho .
18.Afite igitsure kuri wowe nkaho ari umubyeyi wawe:atanga amabwiriza,agatera ubwoba,azi kuvuga icyo abona ari kiza n’icyo abona arikibi,mbese uba ubona ari nk’umuntu ushaka kuguha ubumenyi bundi bushya kubwo wari uzi ,kuguha imyitwarire mishya ,kandi igihe cyose ahora ashaka ko umwumvira kuko utanashobora kumusuzugura.
19.Arakara cyane vuba kandi ntampamvu(il se met en colere sans raison):n’utuntu duto turamurakaza akavuga nabi akaba yatukana kandi ku ibintu byoroshye cyane kandi wenda wowe ibyo bintu utanabitinzeho ngo unabitekerezeho cyane kuko ntagaciro kanini byari bifite kuri wowe.
20.Ntashobora  kuguha amahoro ngo akurekere umutuzo: aba asaba ibintu runaka bidashira ,niba mwicaranye muri salo ntashaka ko ujya muri telefone cyangwa ngo urebe TV witurije, aba asaba ko umwitaho, akabaza ibibazo bidasobanutse,mwaba mutarikumwe ashobora kukwandikira agutera ubwoba kugirango uhite utaha cyangwa  akaguhamagara cyane ntaguhe amahoro aho uri,mbese akora ku buryo aho urihose uba umufite mu bitekerezo.
- Imibonanompuzabitsina ye iba ari igihano(sexuellalite dominante): kuberako ubuzima bwe aba ashaka kugaragaza ko akomeye ko ariwe ukomeye murugo ,imibonanompuzabitsina ye nayo niko imera ,aba ashaka kuyikora kugirango akwereke ko akomeye ,ntabwo ari imibonano irimo urukundo n’ubwumvikane .
About Author
