Muri bibiliya hari ijambo rivuga ngo mukundane nkuko nabakunze.,urukundo Imana yadukunze rero habamo kwitanga nkuko nayo yatwitangiye igatanga umwana wayo Yesu kubwacu.Bibiliya irongera iduha isura y’urukundo nyarukundo aho yavuze ngo urukundo ntirwihimbaza.ntirwirarira,rurihangana. Aha ngaha tuhabona ishusho y’urukundo Imana yashakaga ko tugira bisobanuye ko hari andi mashusho y’inkundo Imana yabonaga abantu bashobora kugira kandi atari meza urugero nka rumwe inzoka yakunze eva muri edeni ikamusanga imwereka ko yamugiriye impuhwe ,iri kumugira inama, iri kumwereka ibyiza ariko nyuma yako karimi hihishemo ubugome ,ishusho nkiriya yurukundo rurimo ikinyoma umuntu agusekera ariko atakwifuriza ibyiza nirwo rukundo rubi,nirwo rukundo rwica
Urukundo rubi rurica urukundo rubi rurangiza rwangiza amarangamutima yumuntu agasigara yumva ko we ataremewe gukundwa no gukunda akabaho yumva ko urukundo nyarukundo rutabaho
uzasanga umuntu akubwira ati ntarukundo rukibaho habaho kwihangana ndetse rwose akaguha nibimenyetso bifatika bigaragaza ko urukundo rutakibaho ibyo ntakindi cyabimuteye nuko yahuye nurukundo rubi rutuma azinukwa urukundo
Nkuko Dr sebastien Garnero umuganga w’indwara zo mumutwe i Paris mu bufaransa abivuga agaragaza ko urukundo nyarukundo rwubakira k’ubwubahane ,ikizere ndetse no kuba wiyumvamo ko ukunzwe nuwo murikumwe murukundo akongeraho no kuba wumva utaboshye, wumva wisanzuye,utabangamiwe,uburenganzira bwawe utabwambuwe ibyo nibyo yagaragaje biranga urukundo rw’ukuri,iyo rero kimwe muri ibyo kibuze niho usanga urukundo rwanyu rutangiye kuba rubi kugeza ruhindutse urwica
Uru rukundo rwica rero rutangira igihe umwe mubashakanye cyangwa umwe mubakundana atangiye kugira ubushake bwo kujya hejuru yundi ,kumusumba,kumwiyemeraho,igihe igitugu n’igitsure gitangiye kuza m’urukundo,igihe umwe azatangira kujya ashyira imbere ibyifuzo bye yumva ko ariwe ukwiye kubahwa no kwitabwaho gusa.
Dore rero ibimenyetso simuga bizakubwira ko uri murukundo rubi cyane rushobora no kukuviramo ingaruka zo gupfa
Akenshi rero uru rukundo rwica ruturuka kubantu bitwa aba pervers narcissique bafite imico mibi cyane nubwo hari n’abandi bashobora kugira imico iganisha k’urukundo rwica ariko akenshi ruturuka kuri aba bantu
1.Mubihe byambere mugikundana akwereka ko ari umuntu udasanzwe kuburyo akwereka ko ari we ukumva unakuzi kurusha abandi bantu bose wahuye nabo,agerageza kwiga no gusesengura ibyo ukunda akabyigana kuburyo wumva ko ariwe wari warasabye Imana,akwereka ko ari umuntu ukwitayeho rwose uzi gukora kandi mwiza
Kuburyo wowe uhuye nawe uvuga ngo uyu niwe nasabye, hanze mubaturanyi bawe muri sosiyeti utuyemo nabo baba bazi ko wagize amahirwe wabonye umukunzi udasanzwe ,abandi bose baba bumva waragize amahirwe ubona umukunzi ugukwiriye kuburyo rimwe na rimwe babona uwo mukunzi wawe ariwe mwiza kukurusha bitewe nuko abiyereka kuko ari umuntu ugira amasura abiri yigaragaza uko ashaka bitewe naho ari hanze yigaragaza neza mwaba muri mwenyine agahinduka mubi cyane
2.Uko iminsi igenda ishira agenda akwiyereka uko ateye kugeza igihe urukundo rwanyu rubereye rubi cyane,icyo gihe rero atangira kugaragaza imico yo kwiyemera no kwigaragaza yumva ko ari hejuru ya mugenzi we agatangira kujya amutoteza mumagambo amubwira amagambo yo kumusuzugura ,kumukomeretsa cyangwa kumupinga
Urugero :akubwira ko udashoboye, ko adahari ntacyo wakwimarira ,ko wambara nabi ,ko wabyibushye ,ko utazi guteka cg ko abakozi batagomba kujya bamutekera, ko utazi gucunga abakozi ,kugushinja gusesagura,kukubwira ngo ureke akazi uze wite kubyo murugo, akwereka ko murugo biri kugenda nabi mbese amagambo atuma wiyumvamo ko uri ntakigenda ,ko uri umunyamakosa kuburyo rwose nawe ushobora kubyakira ukumva ko adahari ntacyo wakwimarira,yakubwira ngo wambaye nabi ukumva koko wambaye nabi kugeza igihe uzajya wambarira ibyo ashaka gusa, ibyo ukunda wowe ukabivaho kandi nabyo ntabishima ijana kw’ijana kuko atajya anyurwa narimwe
3.Aguca ku nshuti zawe kuko nazo akubwira ko ari mbi akabikubwira muri mwenyine ariko mwaba murikumwe nazo akazereka ko azikunda yishimiye ko muri inshuti,azikwangisha mu ibanga kuburyo nuramuka utandukanye nazo bizagaragara ko ariwowe wabiteye bitamuturutseho ,ashaka ko mubana n’inshuti we yishakiye yihitiyemo kandi akenshi ziba arinkeya kandi arimbi,ndetse numuryango wawe awugucaho ariko mubwenge kuburyo bazabona uri kugenda ubavaho kandi we abereka ko abakunze,icyo gihe uzagenda ubona inshuti zawe zigucikaho ndetse n’umuryango wawe wagucitseho musigaye muruziga rwamwenyine ,ibi nibyo bimushimisha kuko aba aziko naguhemukira utazabona ugutabara cyangwa ukugira inama kuko bose uzaba warabiciyeho
4.Uko iminsi yicuma noneho agenda agira gufuha bikabije kuburyo agenzura telefone yawe ashobora no kugucungisha abandi bantu bakajya bagucunga ,uku gufuha gutuma agutegeka ubwoko bw’imisatsi ugomba gutunga ubwoko bw’imyenda ugomba kwambara ndetse akakubza no gusohoka ngo ube wajya kwishimana n’inshuti,aha ngaha ninaho hakunze kuboneka n’imibonano mpuzabitsina y’agahato akagukoresha imibonanompuzabitsina imeze nk’igihano agirango akubabaze
5.Igikurikiyeho nukukwica mumutwe akumvisha ko ukora amakosa ko ashaka gutandukana nawe ,ko nukomeza kumubabaza aziyahura kandi ko abana bazamukubaza,ibi abikorera kugirango akumvishe ko uri mubi nawe wiyange uhorane umubabaro muri wowe,ibi nibyo bishobora kugutera agahinda gakabije kakazakuviramo no kurwara kwiheba cyane n’umubabaro ukabije ,diyabeti,umuvuduko w’amaraso nizindi, izi ndwara rero zigira ingaruka mbi k’umuntu
Aba bantu bafite urukundo rwica bagira imibanire ikozwe n’uruziga mubyiciro bitatu bigenda bisimburana
1.Ikiciro cya mbere kirangwa n’urukundo no kumvikana akwereka ko ari umuntu mwiza ukabona ni umuntu muri kuzuzanya kandi mufite byinshi muhuriyeho aha ngaha ashobora no kugukorera ikintu kimwe kiza kuburyo utazakibagirwa
2.Ikiciro cya kabiri kirangwa n’amahane, kuvuga nabi cyane,kunegurana ,gupfobyanya,, gusuzugurana kwishyira hejuru nibindi aha ngaha niho hazamo itotezwa hakazamo n’imibonanompuzabitsina y’agahato ,aha ashobora no kugukubita ibi bikaba bishobora kukugeza ku rwego rwo kugira agahinda gakabije kandi iki kiciro nicyo gifata igihe kirekire kurusha icyambere nicyagatatu
3.Ikiciro cya gatatu nicyo Dr Sebatien yise ‘’phase de justification ‘’aho iyo umaze kurambirwa n’intonganya ze ukagera kurwego umubwira uti ibi ndabirambiwe simbishaka ,ukamusaba ko mutandukana niho atangira kwisobanura,agasaba imbabazi,ashobora kurira,agapfukama ariko ziba ari imbabazi zitamuvuye k’umutima kuko ejo arongera agakora nkuko mbere yakoraga nkaho atigeze azisaba
Muri make inshuti mbi irangwa n’ibi bintu bikurikira:
1.Ntabwo iziko m’ubuzima habaho ibihe bibiri kwishima no kubabara kandi byose mugomba kubisangira
2.Inshuti mbi iracengera cyane ishaka gucukumbura ubuzima bwawe bwose ishaka kumenya ibyawe byose akantu kukandi akakwinjirira
3.inshuti mbi ihora ivuga abandi nabi ndetse nawe akakuvuga nabi
4.Inshuti mbi ntikora ibyo yavuze irabeshya ikakuryarya
5.Umugabo mubi/umugore mubi akwica m’umutwe kugeza igihe utangiye gutekereza ko ntacyo uricyo, ko ntacyo umaze, ko urimubi, kugeza igihe wiciwe n’agahinda
